Donna Gail Dayer

Donna Gail Dayer of Cary, NC died on November 24, 2024, and though her soul has departed this earth, her spirit remains here, in the lives of the many good friends and family whom she deeply loved. Donna was born in Kansas City, Missouri on February 18, 1953 to Helen and Charlie Dayer. Most of her growing-up years were spent in Conway, Arkansas, where she was little sis to Ray, Phil and Chuck, and big sis to Tom, Steve, Jack and Jill. After graduating high school, Donna began college and started working in the respiratory therapy department of the local hospital. Little did she know that this would lead to a life-long career in this field. She had an active lifestyle, running, biking, and traveling. Some of her adventures took her to hike and camp in the Rockies and in Alaska. Perhaps her favorite destination was Switzerland, a place she always remembered fondly. She was welcomed there by her “Swiss Cousins,” whose hospitality and love made a lasting impression.

At home in Arkansas, family was just as important to Donna. While she had no children of her own, she had fifteen nieces and nephews whom she loved and adored. She enjoyed being part of their lives as they grew and matured, and many began to have children of their own.

Donna surrounded herself with a large circle of friends in Arkansas. While in Little Rock, Donna participated regularly in the Wednesday night dinner group affectionately known as Grady’s Group, which has met every Wednesday for over 30 years. She actively maintained many of these friendships throughout her life.

In 2002, at the age of 49, she made the bold decision to leave her family and friends in Arkansas and relocate to North Carolina seeking a new career path. This soon led to a position in public health where she was able to help tobacco users kick the habit. Donna had known about the dangers of smoking for many years, and helping people stop was one of her passions.

Later that year while building her new life in NC, she went to a book signing event by author Pat Conroy. There, she met her future husband, William (Bill) Burton, as they stood in line to get their books signed. Donna and Bill married in September of 2005. They had planned to tie the knot on Ocracoke Island, at the North Carolina coast, but Hurricane Ophelia caused a change of plans when the island was evacuated. Instead, they married on September 11, 2005, in a ceremony at the Dare County Detention Center in Manteo, NC, where Donna carried a bouquet of flowers taken from the table of Sam and Omie’s restaurant, and some flowers taken from a nearby crepe myrtle tree.

In early 2006, Donna began to realize that she didn’t have the strength and energy she had once enjoyed. She had other health problems as well which were puzzling to her and to her doctors. She was eventually diagnosed with Scleroderma, a rare, chronic auto-immune disease for which there is no cure. Following the diagnosis, Donna spent much of her time trying to understand the disease and investigating treatments for various symptoms. Scleroderma shaped almost every aspect of the rest of her life, as she dealt with pain, exhaustion, and gastrointestinal discomfort that finally resulted in her death.

Donna continued to live the best life she could despite the pain and discomfort each day brought. She and Bill traveled regularly and were able to see and experience many places in the US and abroad.

At home in Cary, Donna surrounded herself with good friends, and good books. Almost any conversation with Donna would touch on book recommendations.

Donna and Bill had traveled to the NC mountains in 2017 to see the total solar eclipse and were so moved by the experience that they made plans to see the April 2024 eclipse in Arkansas. Towing a little travel trailer, they embarked on a two-month cross-country road trip which included viewing the eclipse, visiting with Donna’s family and friends in Arkansas, and continuing west through northern New Mexico and Arizona and southern Utah and Colorado.  They were able to visit numerous state and national parks and monuments and see family and friends along the way. Donna’s health had declined by this time, but she had the strength to make the most of the places that were accessible. She got to see the Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater Monument, Zion National Park, Arches, Canyonlands, and Capitol Reef National Park among many others. On the trip back east, Donna was able to attend the annual Jordan-Dayer Family Reunion in Bull Shoals, Arkansas. After her return home, she spent most of her time trying to figure out how to address the gastrointestinal issues caused by Scleroderma. She underwent major surgery in September, but her system never quite recovered.

Donna was preceded in death by her parents Charlie and Helen Dayer, her brother Tommy Dayer, and her nephew Andy Dayer. Left to cherish her memory are her husband and soul-mate William (Bill) Burton and their dog, Grayson; brothers Ray (Anne) Dayer, Phil (Donna) Dayer, Chuck (Phyllis) Dayer, Debbie Dayer, Steve (Karen) Dayer, Jack (Connie) Dayer, and Jill Dayer, as well as numerous nieces, nephews and cousins who were also dear friends.

In lieu of flowers, Donna would have suggested supporting Scleroderma research by making a donation to the National Scleroderma Foundation, www.scleroderma.org

A celebration of Mrs. Dayer's life will be held at 11 o'clock, Saturday, November 30, 2024 at Clancy Strickland Wheeler Funeral Home, 1051 Durham Road, Wake Forest, NC. A  burial will follow in the Garden of Renewal at Pine Forest Memorial Gardens, Wake Forest, North Carolina.